Well ..I apologize, I have been AWOL from my blog because Life just got busy!
It happens.
Today was my first day off work (other than Christmas Day ) in 6 weeks and my sister pulled me away from the dreaded home chores and so, along with my other sister's daughter, we had a girls' day of just exploring, driving, chatting and laughing.
We drove from one end of the island to the other and back again visiting childhood memories.
Towards the end of the day, I picked wild daisies in the old cemetery with my niece which we placed on the graves of her great grandparents as well as on the one of her great, great grandparents. I explained that my paternal grandmother died the day after her husband from heartache - Jan 4th and 5th, 1973 - a time long before she can ever conceive of .. but the profoundness of such a tragic love story I am sure will stay with her forever. We took some pictures of the inscriptions and flowers and created a moment for her to remember.
As we drove around old haunts and familiar places my niece reminisced about the various spots where we used to take the children to ride bicycles, or go for nature walks ... and even though she is only 14, I realized that as she spoke, what to me seemed like yesterday's memories to her seemed like a life time ago, as she grasped at vague memories of a time past.
Her memories WERE a lifetime ago .. the things we did when she was 4 would have been at a time when memories start cementing and as we age we find it harder to grasp recollections prior to that time.
I so cherish the times I spend with my son, my niece and my nephew but when I say "do you remember" they often have no recollection because the memory has not been given an opportunity to become a memory.
I realized that with children, as with adults, the importance of revisiting the places of our memories in order to help them stay with us longer. Just like revision work for a test or reciting a script of a play - repetition, revisiting, recalling, reminding are all necessary tools to help us remember our past lives.
How often have you struggled to complete a childhood memory or to recall the details of a special occasion that you thought you would never forget?
If you don't revisit those memories - they will fade.
If you don't pass on the family stories, then who will remember them?
If you don't have photos of those who have left us, how we will connect an image to a name?
Family time, family history, family memories are so important.
I don't want to forget but sometimes age has a say in that matter so I use the tools now to create the memories for tomorrow when at some point they might be harder to retrieve.
I keep photos and a family memory album with photos of my parents, grandparents and great grandparents.
These are people that I want the next generation to remember by face - not just a name on a tombstone.
I want them to be remembered by who they were and the lives they lived.
Before my maternal grandfather died, I visited him in Scotland and spent days just visiting with him, talking and writing down everything he told me .. every memory and every detail .. most of which were of his 4 years as a POW in a German Concentration camp during WWII. He had been reported as dead but my Nana never gave up waiting for him to return. Thankfully he did so as I could have the chance of knowing my grandparents and recording a little bit of their lives ... to pass on to the next generation.
I have also kept journals for most of my life - many of my entries addressed to my son in the hopes that one day he will read them and understand the path we have walked together.
They are also an important tool for me as I go back and digest the pages of more challenging and fearful periods in my life as well as rediscovering the past joyous occasions. These are benchmarks by which I can now understand my present life. They provide me with a better sense of who I am now and who I want to be in my future life by revisiting the me I once was.
One day when my life is over, perhaps my memories - all the journals and the photos, the movies and the stories - will just be packed in a bag and trashed as unfortunately was done with most of my granddad's photos. It would sadden me to think that the memories I valued would seem insignificant to others.
However, I believe I have instilled enough of an interest in my niece, and hopefully in my son, in the family that has come before us for them to hold and to pass on the memories that I cherish and value.
I often worry that if we don't pass on these memories that those that have gone will be forgot?
My best friend's father has reached a point in his life of deterioration, physically and mentally, and it is an upsetting thing to witness. It makes you realize that the threshold between Life and Death is such a narrow step. It is in such times when you realize the clock is ticking fast that the urgency to revisit and remember the past becomes more prevalent.
Why do we wait until the final hours?
Memories are special gifts that should be shared daily.
If you have a memory of a loved one - whether a relative or a friend - older or younger - don't keep it to yourself. Share it with them now - they may have been trying to complete that puzzle for awhile and your sharing has given them the final piece.
Memories are not to be kept in a box only to be pulled out when it is too late and the person is pushing up daisies.
Memories are the bond that connect us.
My CPM today was creating memory time with my sister and niece.
We may not have the same memory of this day in a few years - but at least it was one that we shared... and so when we remember it .. each one will bring their piece of the puzzle to completing the memory.
If you need to find ways to help you remember - you should.
If it is worth remembering - you will.
It's your only Life.
Live It.
Remember It.
Cherish It.
Share It.
.... and hopefully, one day that shared memory will be remembered ... and then cherished .. and shared .. and once again the memory will be passed on.....
CPM to you.
:) Sun
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