How does one feel inspired to be creative - in my work, in my art, in my writing or in my home life ... when surrounded by challenges that drain you to the very core?
It goes back to finding those CPMs in your life.
It has been a rough few months, especially with adjusting to my child as a teen. His challenges become mountains over night that I wish I could make go away like the Boogey Man .. but the difference is his challenges are real .. and Mr. Boogey Man was proven to be non existant. (Unfortunately so was Santa and the Tooth Fairy)
As I explained to my neice, a mother's love is so strong that it physically hurts when your child is suffering or struggling. (or is that only me???) ... When my son or neice are cut and hurt I feel a cramping inside ... when their pain is emotional .. .I feel it in my heart .. that tightness in your chest that makes you want to wail.
Bandaids don't work for all the boo boos anymore!
I wish we could return to that world of Peter Pan that we lived in for so long .... and pulled everyone else into our fairy tale story life too. My mum always called me the Wendy Bird (from Peter Pan) because as most of the children in my life know, I never want to grow up. I loathe the boring and serious world of adulthood. That's why having young children in your life is so enriching and wonderful ... they have yet to leave the world of imagination and pretend ... where we can be silly, have fun, create imaginary landscapes and stories with our minds .. and it is still okay and accepted! Maybe if I prefer to be in that world I need to go back to teaching, have more children .. or perhaps just be admitted!
I don't think I am quite ready for the seriousness of teenage life ... it is far too intense for my liking. Why do we expect our teens to become so serious about everything - their schooling, their future, their social life and extra curricula activities ... why can't they spend their free time fishing instead of packing groceries to earn money? Why can't schools be fun again ... why is it okay to be creative and hands on with the 5 year olds .. but by the time they hit their teens they are expected to put that all behind them and learning becomes about pen and paper?
No wonder there are so many middle and high school drop outs, failures and lost causes ... because we have forgotten about the child in the teen .. we have forgot how to appeal to the fun side of learning. We have taken imagination and creativity out of education.
Unfortunately, I am experiencing this first hand .. with a very creative and artistic child who has been required to fit his round peg learning style into a square hole education system.
Bermuda is so lacking in vocational learning, trade education, apprenticeship programmes ... and in lieu we are tackling the results of boring our children in the classroom that has sent them to the streets. The island now has to deal with gangs, violence, illiteracy and poverty .. issues that are so foreign to us (or have we just had our head in the sand and are now addressing what was always there?). You can't fix the problem by taking away the guns. That's like punishing your teen by taking away the xbox .. he just turns to his cell phone or computer as his escape.
The answer is providing an environment that stimulates and shapes the young people before they ever get to that point. If you give them creative outlets .. they will become creative. If you give them opportunities to excel .. then they will excel. Not everyone is an academic .. some are but still learn in other ways. Vocational training at the high school level is too late ...Life Skills need to be taught throughout their education.
So much emphasis is on performance results in math and language that we fail to realize .. test results are often just a matter of using short term memory and churning out the facts that just got put in .... that doesn't reflect what was actually learned. Learning means being able to apply .. especially in real life situations - not in a test booklet.
Think back to your childhood. You will probably realize that your favourite teachers were usually the ones in whose subjects you excelled. .. and the subjects you enjoyed were also the ones in which you excelled. It is because you excelled that the subject brought enjoyment. Nothing like an A grade to build up one's self esteem and make you think you are good at something ... so of course you want to try again .. and keep going ...the satisfaction and feelings of accomplishment is the reward. If you feel accomplished in one area .. then the positive feelings it evokes will reflect in other areas of your life too ... I know because I was one of those perfectionist children who had to excel to feel good about myself. If I couldn't get it straight away I didn't want to continue and fail. Being acknowledged for my efforts pushed me to succeed further.
Yesterday, my son spent the day with me at work at the pottery. He worked a longer day than the normal school day and he worked hard. He hasn't shown interest in the pottery in a very long time .. but I kept him on task and learning new skills. He used math, science and art throughout the day. These lessons were incorporated into the teaching of the skill .. such as weighing out the raw materials to make glaze, reading the scales, calculating the ratio and percentages of materials, the technical aspect of setting a kiln and the conversion of cone to temperature. He was filthy and exhausted by the end of the day .. but had thoroughly loved the experience. He felt valuable. He had made the new batch of glaze, unpacked kilns, unloaded molds, helped with shipping, etc. He had been given an opportunity not only to experience valuable life skills, but had a better appreciation of how hard I work at my job to care for him.
Career Days in the school system are usually once a year .. and as they get older .. sometimes they get a whole week. I believe that once they reach the teen years that this should be incorporated as part of the regular weekly curriculum. When I was in my early teens I was already working weekends as a receptionist for a Doctor in the city. With the current economic climate there aren't even enough jobs available for adults, let alone for our children. They do not have the same opportunities for weekend or summer jobs as we had. Fortunately I am of the understanding that our two government high schools offer vocational subjects .. but on Tuesday when I go to visit I will find out to what extent. I hope that they are core elements of the curriculum and not just electives that become once a week subjects - which seems to have become the norm for the arts and any hands on experiential learning subjects.
I am blessed that I had a wonderful old fashioned education that was structured yet balanced and full ... biology, math, language, literature, art, cooking, sewing, religion, history, geography, Spanish, French, civics, music, phys ed and latin. I believe classes were shorter and more frequent so as we could experience more subjects from which to learn. At least with so many subjects on the curriculum one was bound to find something at which they could do well and feel accomplished.
I am on the quest to find that balance for my child ... but added to that is the challenge of finding the right environment for a child with dyslexia. It has been a very rocky, sob filled road that has wearied me to my soul and taken its toll on relationships. BUT .. it is for my child .. so no matter what .. you plod on .. and you ask, you call, you cry, you try, you be persistent .. because one day that child will be a man .. and you will have given him a fair shot at surviving this thing called LIFE.
Wishing you a CPM filled weekend.
x sun aka The Weary Mum wannabe Wendy Bird
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